


life's a never ending wheel

by mutteredlove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Love, M/M, little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutteredlove/pseuds/mutteredlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean have met each other since they were both sorted as Gryffindors, maybe lovers came and go but they were always for each other. They are too confused, they are both afraid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	life's a never ending wheel

“¡Screw all of this!”  Dean smashed his old books into the long table. Suddenly Sam found three or four heavy books –heavier than his ones- in front of his nose. He had never understood why his brother had picked Ancient Runes; he supposed it was something necessary for his brother’s career choice. Dean let himself fell on the chair and opened one of the books, sighing exasperated “That bitch of teacher and her stupid homework”

The library wasn’t much occupied, but Ms. Pince didn’t doubt on shushing the older brother. The guy simply shrugged and shot a fake regretful glare to the woman. Sam laughed but tried to hide it by coughing.

                “What’s wrong?” Sam was worried about his brother; well, he was always worried for everybody. The little young Sammy, in his early fifteenth, still looked at the world with curious and sincere eyes. Although he was really mature and clever for his age, he had good faith and he was nice, bright, polite and never resentful. Dean had always admired that attribute, since the older one was more given to rancor and remorse. “Is it only the homework?” Sam whispered as he handed his brother the inkwell.

Dean directed a proud smile to his little brother; he was upset and angry with the world –especially with the teacher- but he couldn’t help feeling impressed of Sam. He was really empathic, as usual. But Dean lied, not only to Sam, but himself. He pushed deep down his real feels, and nodded. Just homework.

                “I see…” Sam lifted down his sight to his parchment, without buying it, while Dean started to underline a few important sentences. He couldn’t help putting his own hand in his collarbone, and brush the almost imperceptible memory of the moment his life wasn’t upside down.

A few minutes later, a little alarmed for the amount of new vocabulary he had to study, Dean lifted his head to lose the red tie in the minute a couple of Slytherins were walking next to him, waving and smirking sexily. Dean couldn’t help look at their inviting hips, swaying slowly. Before realizing it, he was smiling cocky to one of the girls, the blond one. Then…

“Shit!” Dean seemed to remember something, and he put the bottom of his hands on his eyes, rubbing them, pulling up a few weak eyelashes. “Fuck”

“Dean? You okay?” Sam looked attentive the scene, oh, he was really sure it wasn’t just his homework. “What’s in your mind?”

But Dean didn’t answer, he just kept underlining –although he looked like he was trying to pierce the book, so the little quill broke. “Great, when my day couldn’t go to worse… Sammy, I’ll go study to my room, see you later”

Before Sam could offer another quill to his brother, Dean had closed abruptly his books and he had left the room, leaving his brother alone.

“Sure…”

* * *

 

“Dean, what’s wrong with you today?” Nyx was sat in the velvet couch, her feet in Dean’s lap. They were chilling in the Gryffindor common room, enjoying free time. While she was talking about some cute boy she had seen earlier, Dean was looking at the fireplace, but his sight was lost. He was in another place, lost, engrossed in his own thoughts. “Dean, dude…We are good friends… what’d been up with you those last two days?”

Dean leaned forward and brushed her feet out of his lap, making her sit in a way better posture. Nyx knew Dean; she knew there wasn’t anything good by pressuring him. Dean was two years older than Nyx, she was in fifth grade, but she was good friend of the Winchesters, since she shared a few classes with Sam and she had been in trouble with Dean a lot of times. In fact, she really enjoyed watching him play Quidditch, though she didn’t really like sports. They weren’t much friends of sharing secrets, but they were there for each other in good and bad moments. She was kind of his –bit annoying- little sister.

“I can hear you thinking, but‘s okay, Dean… I’m meeting Sam and Abi now, see you later”

“Okay… tell them I say hello…” Nyx lifted her eyebrows but said nothing, leaving Dean alone, lost in his own business.

Nyx hurried to the hall, where Sam and Abi were waiting for her. They both were in Ravenclaw, but they had a very strong friendship. Nyx and Abi had known each other since they were little kids, so the fact they were in different houses didn’t mean anything. Abigail was more friend of Sam than Nyx was, though.

“Dude, your brother is acting so weird…” Nyx muttered as hello. She hugged her best friends briefly. “I’m a bit worried, being honest”

“I know, right? Maybe he’s worried for his grades… Well, his homework’s up to his ass.” Sam tried to fake his brother’s voice, brushing the topic, but yes, he was really worried. He just acted that way when something big was going on in his mind, and he couldn’t help wonder what was happening.

The three friends shrugged and changed to a lighter topic, they were meeting today at the Gryffindor’s common room, Abi had discovered an amazing spell they were willing to try.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The moonlight slipped across the Gryffindor common room’s windows. The red and yellow flags waved, result of a useful spell. In the room, screams could be heard, and the portrait couldn’t close, because of the people coming and going out.

Sam, loosening his shirt’s buttons, smiled politely to a Gryffindor girl who entered with him. She smiled back, but he didn’t realize it because he was too busy looking for Abi. She had told him she’d be there with Nyx, Dean and a few friends of Dean, both from the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He saw them, covering something with their bodies, crowding round a table.

Sam got closer just in time for a “nice” surprise. His brother took him by the waist and threw him, laughing loudly. Sam wondered why the change of mood until Nyx showed him a book with a lot of funny spells and explained him they were trying a few. Sam couldn’t help laugh too, he felt so happy for his brother, he didn’t know what was bothering his brother earlier, but it was obvious he had moved on or something. Anyway, a few minutes later, he realized he knew his brother too well. Behind that fake mask of happiness, there was something different. The smile didn’t reach his eyes, and there was a little furrow between his eyebrows that never seemed to disappear.

Abi y Nyx were smirking at the boy’s goofiness, and when they turned around, they saw a figure entering the room. Castiel was there, but he looked a little sad. He wasn’t a very cheerful person, or at least one who liked to show it, he was calmer. Anyway, he was a good friend, so they thought it’d be a good idea inviting him to join the little party they were having.

Castiel refused with his hand, pointing to his bedroom and smiling in a very polite way. The girls didn’t insist, he looked tired.

“Hey, Nyx, tell your boyfriend to be quiet” Abi said laughing. They were always joking about that topic with the older brother, since he didn’t seem to enjoy having long relationships. Also, at the beginning of the year, a boy Nyx was dating got really mad when she saw Nyx and Dean hugging, so the joke was sometimes brought again –usually by Abi or Sam.

Dean turned to answer that with a really ironic sentence, but when he saw Castiel behind the two girls, looking at him with those deep blue eyes and walking to their bedroom, with a sad expression and a very bent forward back, he felt weak. This wasn’t what he needed right now, not after all what happened.

He didn’t heard Sam smashing into the ground, and he didn’t see Abi, Sam and Nyx looking at him with curious wide eyes. He had to reach Castiel.

* * *

 

Castiel started to climb the stairs bit by bit, feeling each stair a heavier weight on his shoulders. His suspicions were confirmed, but he didn’t feel relieved at all. He knew Dean for a very long time, almost seven years. Since they were sorted in the same house, and Castiel applauded, with all his new schoolmates, when the sorting hat screamed “Gryffindor!” and a very nervous Dean run to sat next to him. Since one morning they were eating breakfast and a dark owl left a big, heavy letter next to Dean’s milk cup. Dean couldn’t stop smiling while reading it, and he told Castiel, with bright green eyes and a wide smile, everything about his family and his little brother –who was willing to be in Ravenclaw. Since Castiel told Dean in their second year his mother had gone once and she never came back. Since they were both punished together and they had to clean the common room every Friday night for an entire trimester –“without using magic!” as Dean puffed every night. Since in their fourth year, Sammy had a very terrible fall playing Quidditch, and Castiel stayed next to a very worried Dean at every moment, making him smile sometimes or listening to him when it was too much, and Dean refused to distance himself for Sam’s sleeping body. In their fifth year, Dean was named Quidditch captain, and a girl kissed him in the middle of the euphoria. They dated a couple of weeks before Dean confessed Castiel the girl was too stupid and obnoxious. Since that year, they grew up in some way and they started dating people, but every relationship failed. Dean was head over heels for Castiel, and Dean was willing to bite those thick lips and lose himself in that deep, green eyes.

And that summer, something happened. They were drunk, young, and not-so-inexpert, so they woke up the next morning in the same bed, their clothes were on but their legs were tangled and their underwear was uncomfortably sticky. They didn’t talk about it, but they repeated it a lot of times. When the sexual tension was too much, they let themselves go in a sea of horny hormones. They were too much afraid to talk about it, thinking the other one wouldn’t want a boyfriend, and they whispered the word to their own selves, waiting, too intimidated for the possible rejection.

Until two days ago, when their fort made of jealousy –when they dated others-, repressed feelings –when they were too disheartened to talk- and sexual tension –at the moment they looked in each other eyes- demolished.

“Fuck, Cas, I love you…” Dean whispered before realizing it. They both were naked in Castiel’s bed, next to each other, breathing heavily. Dean had got lost in Castiel’s almost black lusty eyes, counting each one of his eyelashes and looking how they slowly became bluer again.

Suddenly Cas remained silent, his heart beating at salsa’s rhythm.   

“Cas?”  Dean sat up, obviously hurt. He went to dress himself up while Castiel looked at him, guilt drawn in his blue eyes. Everything became awkward and Dean looked at him, pressing the purple hickey in his collarbone. “Err… it doesn’t matter, I have a date right now, I- I should go.”

And Dean left, leaving a trace of sex, broken heart and confusion.

Those two days Castiel couldn’t stop thinking why he didn’t say anything at the moment, wondering why he couldn’t just go and tell Dean he loved him since the day their eyes crossed.

“Cas!” Dean screamed from the bottom of the stairs, but Castiel didn’t turn and looked at him. He kept walking, bit by bit, until a hand held his wrist. “Castiel, look at me!”

“I’m tired, Dean…” He tried to keep walking, but Dean gripped tighter. “Let me go to sleep”

“Fuck, Cas, don’t you trust me? Turn around and tell me you don’t love me back!”

And Castiel did it. He said the biggest lie of lies. “I don’t love you, Dean. Go have fun with your girlfriend.”

“Nyx’s not my girlfriend, and you know it! I demand a true answer! Give me a fucking answer, Castiel!” Dean dropped Castiel’s hand. ”Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you as that girl did last year, when you said to me you loved her, but you dumped her a week after that. I trusted you as those girls you said you’d call did, but you never called. I trust you, Dean, but…” Castiel tugged his ear, thinking.

“You’re not like them, I promise…” Dean started to talk, but Castiel interrupted him.

“And you flirt, and look at everybody, you wink… And I’m jealous, which makes me feel angry with myself” Castiel never broke the eye contact, he didn’t even move. He remained his tome calm, even though he wanted to scream and rip some pillows.

“I’m jealous too” Dean confessed with something between a laugh and a sob. If Castiel felt jealous, it was because he felt… stuff. It was better than anything. “I’m really jealous, all the time. And not only because you date other people, it’s because you are nice to everybody, you are clever, you are handsome, you make me better, and there’s nothing I could do to make you better. It’s because you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen” Castiel huffed, obviously disagreeing. “You don’t think you have the most amazing eyes ever, don’t you?”

“No, because you have them” Castiel blinked twice, waiting for a response, and he lifted the corners of his mouth shyly. 

“Screw our stupid minds, Castiel.” Castiel leaned forward, because being in the higher step made him taller than Dean, who looked at him through his long eyelashes. While their lips connected, shivers went down their spines, and Castiel deepened the kiss.

“I love you too, Dean. Will you forgive my silliness and my jealousy?”

“Will you forget mine?” Dean muttered against Castiel’s lips.

They had to talk about feelings and stuff, as Sammy liked to say, but that could wait a little bit more.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Holy Diver - Dio.  
> I was trying to write some porny but it ended being fluffy. The age gap between Dean and Sam is two years because I say so.


End file.
